Off the wall

Singer Britney Spears was one of the best sell...
Singer Britney Spears was one of the best selling female performers of the 2000s. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My name is Leffney and I have a twin brother Riteney. We’ve had a tough sort of life on the end of a demanding master. On the other hand our two sisters Britney and Whitney have had it pretty easy really being lucky enough to be on the end of a sedentary lady now in her sixties.

In fact my brother Riteney is much stronger than me and although he went through it a bit as well he never gave up the ghost, like I did on a couple of occasions. I must say looking back I feel pretty bad about it now as I caused severe anguish and pain for the boss on both occasions. I was not able to withstand the extreme pressure and the stress he put me under and, well, I just couldn’t take it and collapsed both times. And in fairness to my brother Riteney he took on the extra load without complaint.

Left knee-joint from behind, showing interior ...
Left knee-joint from behind, showing interior ligaments. (Lateral meniscus and medial meniscus are cartilage.) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

You see, I can’t feed myself so I am as totally reliant on my Master’s support as he is on mine and maybe at the time he didn’t quite know what I needed in the way of sustenance. After all he is made of many parts whereas I am basically just a connection between the femur, tibia and talus. I hold them all together with a rather clever collection of connectors. Underneath my cap which I always wear and call my little patella I have two diagonal ligaments which cross each other in the joint. They are absolutely crucial which is why I call them cruciates.  The anterior is in the front and the posterior is obviously behind. Then there is the medial collateral ligament and the lateral collateral ligament on the outside. I have a few other bits and pieces like cartilage and meniscus but I don’t want to go into technicalities here. Of more concern is that, having let the old boy down badly twice I am doing my very best to support him until he ‘drops off the perch’, which, between you and me, shouldn’t be too long now. I’m not talking weeks or months but maybe years. Not too many, I hope!!

I Look to You
I Look to You (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Look, he’s not a bad old fart and he did go through hell when I folded on him. A good year it took him to recover both times, a lot of rehab physio and pain. I remember the second time I made a right mess of myself and fair enough he did pay for a complete refurbishment job so I can’t complain. And when it was all over I felt like a dog with two dicks and a bit of a limp. So I suppose the least I can do is hold him up for a bit longer and make sure he doesn’t need a wheel chair before they gift wrap him for the bonfire.

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